Blame and Regrets
by ScribblesTheVixen
Summary: It's hard to fit into a society that only judges. Luckily, there are some pretty great people out there who can love whatever you can offer.


**A/N: I swear, all my stories are so depressing... Anyways, this is for the International Wizarding School Championship: Round Four. This can be read by anyone, though. So, feel free to do so! I hope you enjoy. **

**School and Theme: **Mahoutokoro and The Whomping Willow

**Main Prompt: **[Genre] Hurt/Comfort

**Additional Prompt(s): **[Action] Searching

**Year: **Four

**Word Count:** 2,800

**Disclaimer: In no way do I own Harry Potter or the universe. All rights are reserved for J.K. Rowling and any others who took part in this amazing world's creation. I only own my OC's. **

* * *

Leo hadn't always been the type of guy to be ashamed of himself. In fact, he'd never had a reason to be. He'd always excelled in his studies, had an amazing group of friends, and the most supporting father he could have ever asked for. Even his brother, who could sometimes be a hot-headed jerk, was someone who he knew loved him dearly as Leo did in return. He'd had his fair shares of ups and downs with his mother passing away when he was barely four, and his sister being diagnosed with leukemia. But, nonetheless, he'd always considered himself lucky when it came to life's dealing hand.

Yet, the one thing he could never get past was his hair. It wasn't like other's. Sure, it was slightly spiky, and sometimes flattened out to make it look as if he had bangs. But, it wasn't blonde or brown, or even black. Hell, it wasn't even red like his brother's. Instead, it was blue.

A deep, rich, ocean blue that faded out at the tips, matching the color of his eyes. His father used to say that his mother had had the same hair and it had been one of things he'd loved about her. When she had still been around, Leo had never felt out of place because he'd had someone who was just like him. There was never any reason to worry that he had never seen anyone else born with hair like his because his mother had been all he'd needed for , after she had passed, it had all seemed to change.

His blue hair stood out among the crowds. People began to laugh and point, making it harder for him to accept it. He didn't like being different because it meant he'd never be accepted by the people around him.

But, over the years, he'd learned that there were people out there that, indeed, appreciated him for just being him. And, they never made fun of his hair or whatever other flaws people had come to point out over time. He was loved, his father always told him. He was loved because, if he wasn't, he wouldn't be surrounded by so many wonderful people.

Though, sometimes, that love didn't seem like it was enough.

It had all gotten worse when he'd begun to attend Hogwarts. Almost every Slytherin- along with some Gryffindor's- had started to tease him relentlessly, calling him a freak and shoving him into every wall they could think of. The girls would laugh and pull at his hair, looking at it like it was something exotic. Others would bring scissors, threatening that they would cut it off because, maybe, he'd finally look normal.

Sometimes, he really wanted them to. Leo wished so badly that they would just do it instead of taunting him relentlessly. Then, he could be something of a normal person. He could fit into society, again, and flow with the crowds without being looked at and being pointed to. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

His brother, Jack, was in the same year as he was- just a few months younger. However, he'd been sorted into Gryffindor rather than Ravenclaw. They had a couple classes together and were always around one another. Sometimes, it felt as if Jack was the older brother and not him. He'd always been the rougher one, picking fights even if he didn't have to. He wasn't the affectionate type, either. Or, at least, he didn't show it out in the open. Rather, he hid it in small gestures. And, for that, Leo was grateful because, whenever his brother found Leo being beaten, he'd intervene and, although acting like he didn't really care, would scare those people off before they even had a chance to talk.

His sister, Sam, was just a year younger than the brothers. She'd been sorted into the same house as Leo, saving him from a heart attack. Although she'd been diagnosed with leukemia, she'd been able to recover quickly at a young age. And, despite still being at risk, she'd refused to let it stop her from attending Hogwarts.

That was the thing Leo loved about her- despite all the near heart attacks it gave him. She was a carefree spirit, knowing no boundaries with a wild imagination that reminded him of their mother. And, despite Sam never getting to know her the way he did, she loved her all the same and enjoyed whenever they told stories of her.

She was probably stronger than both him and Jack. She always stood her ground, not letting anyone take her or others for granted. She could outwit even the smartest because she didn't rely on facts, but beliefs because she found those to be the strongest out of the two. They came from the heart, after all.

He wished so badly he could be like either of them. He wished he could stand up for himself and not care of what others think. But, words are like knives. They cut deeper than anything else could.

So, as Leo curled up against a wall of the stone ruins, gazing out towards the Whomping Willow as it restlessly moved, he could sympathize with it. Because, that was exactly how he currently felt.

His last class had ended just an hour ago. But, as soon as he'd left, he'd been cornered in an empty hallway by a bunch of Slytherin's who'd been in a particularly bad mood that morning. He'd hit his head onto the stone, black spot dancing in front of his vision. It had been the usual tormenting session- some names here and there, kicks to his gut, and tugging on his hair. Leo had thought nothing of it until they'd spoken their final words before leaving.

"_Ha, now we know why your Mom died. She couldn't stand looking at a pathetic piece of shit."_

It had been worse than any punch that could have been delivered. It had been worse than any amount of knives in his skin.

It had been his whole world crumbling down to his feet.

He'd ran. He'd ran as far as his legs would take him before collapsing by the ruins and curling in on himself, letting the dam come loose. All his frustration, anger, and sorrow had come out in that moment, soaking his robes and staining his face. He'd wrapped his arms around his knees, burying his head deep into the crook of his elbow. He ached all over, like a thousand needles were pricking him on top of a bulldozer running him flat onto the ground.

He couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take the torment- the words and violence. He was being stretched thin and was afraid that, if he went any further, he would finally break and there would be nothing more left to laugh at.

He glanced at his wand where it lay by his side. He'd dropped it there after he'd collapsed.

It felt like the wand was whispering to him, telling him to pick it up and point at himself. To say two words that could finally put him out of his misery. Maybe, he'd see his mother again. He'd get to hug her and take in the strange vanilla scent she always smelled of. He'd get to bury himself in the white, silky dress she'd always worn and feel her arms wrap around him as he buried his head into the crook of her neck- a spot that had always felt like it was made just for him. She would sing to him like she had every night when he was younger. To hear her melodious voice and walk next her, again, would be such a wonder.

He could be free.

His fingers inched towards it, reaching out to grasp it.

Just two words. That was all it would take.

A little closer. He could do it.

Shakily, his fingers wrapped around it, bringing it up so that the tip was angled at the center of his chest.

Two words.

"Avada… Ked-"

"Leo!"

His head snapped sideways, the wand falling away from his hands and rolling off into the grass.

A girl with similar eyes to his own came barreling out from behind the ruins, looking out of breath, as if she'd run two marathons in under five minutes. Her black hair had escaped the clip she'd used to put it up with, strands sticking to her face as sweat rolled down her forehead. Her uniform was rumpled with smudges of dirt everywhere, including the Ravenclaw crest. But, her blue irises shined brightly, something that always amazed him. He wondered if his did that, too.

He quickly wiped away the stains on his cheeks, hoping she wouldn't notice.

Suddenly, a boy appeared behind her, slightly out of breath. His red hair was filled with sweat and dirt, as was his uniform. His Gryffindor crest was barely visible under it all. He was slightly taller than the girl, with a permanent scowl etched onto his features and blood red eyes that held a dangerous glint to them.

"Sam, you idiot!" he yelled.

She simply grinned, glancing back at him briefly before promptly walking over to where Leo sat and planting herself in his lap. The action startled him, causing him to lean against the wall for support as his hands came to brace either side of him.

"I wanted to get to Leo before you did." she stated matter-of-factly.

"That does _not_ mean you run through mud and then onto a broken bridge!"

Leo's eyes widened, his heart suddenly beating faster as he stared at her. "Y-You what?"

She turned towards him, smiling happily as if there wasn't anything wrong with that. "Relax, you big baby. Jacky was watching me the entire time. Nothing happened."

"I told you not to call me that!" Jack roared, seating himself onto the ground in front of them, firmly crossing his arms over his chest as he shot daggers at Sam.

"You love it, though." she sang.

He simply huffed, blowing away a few strands of hair that had landed in his face. "Whatever." he grumbled, looking away.

She laughed, leaning her head backwards so that it landed on Leo's shoulder. She gazed up at him, frowning when she saw that he was still staring at where she had previously been.

"Hey, big bro, guess what!?"

His attention snapped towards her, raising an eyebrow.

"I aced my potions test! It was so freaking easy, I swear. Jack made me worry over nothing." The corners of her lips lifted upwards mischievously. "I was really scared because of him. Think you can beat him up for me?"

Leo quickly shook his head, not wanting to get into another fight so soon. "No way."

She pouted. "Your no fun." Suddenly, her eyes widened as if she'd just remembered something. "Hey," she questioned. "Why didn't you show up at lunch? We looked for you literally everywhere. I mean, we even went to check the Restricted Section in the library because we know you love it so much. But, you weren't there."

"O-Oh." Leo laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. "I-I just needed some fresh air."

Jack gazed over at him suspiciously, not buying it for a second. "Oh, yeah?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Why'd you need some fresh air?"

"P-Professor Filtwick's classroom was kinda h-hot today." he fumbled.

"Oh, really?" Jack narrowed his eyes.

Leo nodded, no longer trusting his words.

"So," his brother dragged out. "It wasn't, say, because of those Slytherin goons I saw earlier talkin' about you?"

At that, Sam's head shot up, her eyes filled with concern. "They were talking about him?"

"You bet." Jack leaned back on his hands, his posture becoming more casual despite the situation. "Talkin' about their latest victim which just so happened to be ol' Leo here."

Her gaze grew dark. "I'm gonna pummel them."

"No, you're not."

"Am too!" she snapped at him. Neither noticed the way Leo's face seemed to pale.

"No, you're not! That's not your job!"

He could hear the words on repeat. It was his fault. His fault he wasn't loved. His fault that she was gone. His fault he couldn't even take care of his family right. He couldn't even stand up for himself.

"So, what? You can beat up people for no reason, but I can't?!"

"What?! No. I don't beat 'em up for no reason. And, besides, you're not in any condition to go hitting anyone."

She looked absolutely appalled. "How dare you!" she shrieked. "Leo, tell him th-" But, as soon as she turned his way, she was shocked to see him completely frozen.

Jack seemed to take notice as soon as she did, too, worry briefly flashing over his features. He scooted a little closer, reaching out to touch his brother's shoulders. "Bro, what's wrong? You good?"

But, he didn't move.

"Leo?" Sam called.

Nothing.

"Leo!"

His fault.

"Big bro, say something!"

"This ain't funny!"

"Come on, Leo, please!"

_His fault._

"Don't make me knock some sense into you!"

"LEO!"

Something snapped in him. His eyes began to water, his whole body shaking as sob after sob racked through him. His vision blurred through the tears and his lungs ached as he tried to draw in air.

"I-I'm… I'm s-s-sorry. I-I'm so-so-sorry." he hiccupped, bringing his hands up to wipe away the tears from his eyes.

He hated crying in front of people. It only gave them another reason to laugh and point. It was a sign of weakness and he hated it. Hated that he was doing it in front of the only people who he trusted. Hated that he wasn't strong enough to hold it in. He just couldn't _do _it anymore.

"M-My fault… I-It's m-me."

"What are you talking about?" Jack asked incredulously, not removing his hands from Leo's shaking shoulders. Faintly, he could feel Sam wrapping her arms around his torso, squeezing him tightly as she buried her head in his chest.

"It's okay, Leo. It's okay." she whispered softly.

"N-No," he tried. "M-Me. It's m-me. I'm… I c-can't…"

"Shhh." She rubbed her hand up and down his back, trying to calm his rattled nerves.

"I'm sorry." he whispered.

"You've got nothing to be sorry for, Leo." Jack said, trying to look him in the eye. "Nothing."

"N-No, you don't understand." He shook his head. "I'm the reason."

"The reason for what?"

"She's dead. She's dead because of me. Me!" he cried. "I'm pathetic. I'm the reason why. I can't do anything right. I couldn't save her. I couldn't help Sam when… I can't even stand up for myself. I can't do it. It's my fault."

His siblings looked at him, completely appalled.

"What are you talking about?!" Jack demanded. "There is no way in hell that you could have done anything when Sam got leukemia. That's out of your control, bro." He clenched his fists, gritting his teeth. "And, there is no way that Mom's death was your fault. You listen to me, right now!" He shook Leo violently, making his glassy eyes meet his. "Mom died because of an accident. _Not_ because you're pathetic. You're not. You are smart as shit and you're the person I strive to try to be every single day. You're compassionate even to those who aren't to you. You take care of everyone just fine. You may not stand up for yourself, but that doesn't make you weak. The fact that you don't retaliate makes you a better person than those people could ever be.

And, please, for the love of Merlin, know that, as long as we're here- your family- we will never let you be on your own. We love you, Leo."

Leo stared at his brother, taking in the sincerity of his words. They weren't fake like others. He could see the look in his eyes- the desperation. He wanted him to understand, to believe him because it was true. They loved Leo and, not once, had they ever left him alone. Whenever he'd been hurt or felt down, they'd found him everytime and stayed with him until he was ready to face the crowds again. They never judged him. Never.

He glanced at his siblings as they watched him with so much concern and compassion.

He'd always been told that they loved him. But, sometimes, it was so hard to believe. And, yet they still cared. They cared even when he pushed them away or bothered them and made them feel annoyed. They cared so much more than he'd realized.

He glanced at the Whomping Willow, watching as it came to stand still once more.

Leo wiped at his eyes one final time, bringing his hand away to reveal a watery smile.

"I love you, too."


End file.
